Our story…

23 Sep

Well, I figured I had better let y'all in on us…why we're here, who we are and just a little background for you.  I guess it's best to start from the beginning huh, so here it goes.

 

We were married in May of 2000.  Two weeks before we got married we found out we were already expecting.  I was excited, no one knew except for me, Sean and my sister.  Just a few days later we lost our baby.  I was clueless, I had never been pregnant, never lost a baby and wasn't sure what to do.  We just went on like usual, and still no one knew.  After our honeymoon I was ready to be a mom.  Soon after we got pregnant again, on Labor Day weekend actually!  Everything was going along just fine and dandy then one day I just didn't feel "right".  We went to the doctor and were told some of the worst news no one should hear.  Our daughter, Avery, was gone.  I was 26 wks pregnant.  After more testing to make sure and a horribly long induction, our little 1 lb baby was born.  Although tiny, she was perfect.

 

We got pregnant soon after again and had another semi-easy pregnancy.  Well, the pregnancy was ok; it was my mental state that sucked.  I was a nervous wreck…checking the toilet paper in the early stages of pregnancy, begging the baby later on to "just kick again, please", and then counting the minutes between contractions…way too soon.  Our next daughter, Kenna, wanted out a little too early, at 30 weeks to be exact.  So, I was put on bed rest and terbutaline for 8 weeks or so.  I had weekly NST's and doctor's appointments, it was not fun, but it was necessary.  Then I had to be induced, the irony of it, and Kenna came out just fine, sort of.  My placenta looked like hell, Kenna wasn't breathing all that great but she was alive and screaming.

 

Our next baby, a son named Jackson, was a surprise.  I was nervous from the beginning and nothing ever felt "right" about that pregnancy.  I spotted from early on, was put on bed rest for a few days here and there for the bleeding, itched like crazy and didn't feel like everything was ok.  You know, a mother's intuition…something just wasn't right.  I woke up on August 16th sick, hurting like you can't imagine, I couldn't stand I was dizzy, throwing up and couldn't even really keep a coherent thought in my head.  I was 26 wks again, D-day for us.  It took us over an hour to get to the hospital since we lived in the middle of nowhere.  By the time we got there I had been passing out in the car and didn't know it.  As I was getting my vitals done I was throwing up again and thought my water had broken or I pee'd the bed (we're being honest here!).  Little did I know that it wasn't amniotic fluid or urine, it was blood and a ton of it.  My blood pressure crashed and the doc finally came in.  Now this is where I add some more info about my doctor.  This blog is not to bash him, diss him or slander the guy so I'll refrain from telling you his name, but he screwed up and BIG TIME!  He was the one who delivered Kenna so I think he thought all was well, but he pretty much ignored me this entire pregnancy.  He came in a long while after I had been at the hospital, he even knew I was coming; I had called him before we left our house.  He finally realized how bad of shape I was in and finally did something about it.  I had to have a central line put in, given too many pints of blood to count and eventually after 8-ish hours I went into an "emergency" c-section.  Our son was gone; he was gone before we got to the hospital.  Another baby gone, another 26 wk stillborn.  I don't remember too much of that day since I was in and out of it, but I do remember telling the nurse before we knew for sure that Jackson was gone that "we'd already lost one baby, please don't say that we lost another".  I was in ICU for a few days, the day after was when I woke up with the ventilator down my throat still asking the nurse what happened (writing it actually).  She told me that the baby was gone, which I remembered already, told me I had a c-section, I remembered that too, told me I still had my uterus, which I was thankful for and told me that I went into DIC, which I won't spell out.  After shift-change, the vent coming out and my oh so demeaning sponge bath, I asked my new nurse what really happened.  He said something that I will never forget, "DIC…wow, we don't see many of you up here, most of y'all end up in the morgue." 

 

While in the hospital I told Sean that I can't do this again, I couldn't be in the hospital going home with no baby again, I almost died…but the desire for more babies is apparently too much.  We got pregnant again just this past month and three days later I woke up to another miscarriage.  But, there is good news…

 

I finally have a new ob/gyn and a specialist who are in the process of doing tons of blood work.  So, there's a brief, if you can call it that, history of us.  This blog is about what the docs find out, how we will treat it and hopefully you can join us through a scary, nerve-wracking yet healthy pregnancy.

 

Thanks for reading!

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6 Responses to “Our story…”

  1. fleur September 23, 2006 at 3:58 pm #

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I wish you the best of luck with your new OB/GYN!P.S. My fiance is named Sean too.

  2. Tami September 24, 2006 at 12:12 pm #

    Thanks for sharing your journey. I'll be reading.

  3. Mom On The Run September 24, 2006 at 7:57 pm #

    Yes, thanks for sharing with us. I hope we can lend you all the
    support you need, and I wish you the best of luck in the future. My
    prayers are with you.

  4. Shasta September 25, 2006 at 12:07 am #

    Wow hun, that's quite a story. I've unfortunately had two now…and it never gets any easier does it? Especially with the Due Date of my first one passing this month. Thankyou for sharing your story. There is a great support group that I hold onto dearly at http://www.justmommies.com/boards. If your up to it, you should share your story with the ladies of the Pregnancy Loss and Multiple Losses forums. I'm sure they would love to have you there.

  5. Yvette Ivy September 25, 2006 at 5:25 pm #

    Hola, chica! Just wanted to let you know that I read the blog, thanks for the invitation! I hope that this outlet works for you and I think it's a grand idea. Happy writing, babe – Lord knows you have enough material to work with….Love you!

  6. Ashwee September 28, 2006 at 9:52 pm #

    Oh my gosh! what an amazing and scary story- I feel very privileged to have read it.. I wish you all the very best for the future and pray your body does what it's supposed to do from now on.
    🙂

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