Chart Stalker

3 Oct

I swore I wasn’t going to do this, I swore that I would not be that “girl” who looks at her TTC chart a gazillion times a day, but dammit I am!  I'm not sure why I look so often, nothing new will be there, hell I'm the one that inputs all the info so it just can't magically appear, but I’m addicted.  I read the message boards on Fertility Friend, I post topics like “please take a look” and “did I O?”  I have never seen such a shitty chart and here I am actually WISHING that AF (Aunt Flo for those not in the know) would show up when we get back from Vegas so I can ask my great doc for Clomid.  I used to take it for granted…a “whoops” pregnancy or a surprise pee stick that just happened to show two lines, but somehow some time ago my body decided to screw itself up.  I think my ovaries have decided it would be fun to HOARDE the damn eggies and not release any because they like them or think they are cute.



Dammmmmmittt…ovaries, listen to your owner, your mother, your life-blood…I want to have a baby but cannot if you do not surrender your precious gems, you have hijacked my body for far too long and because of this I will ask to have drugs, good drugs that MAKE you pop a follicle…just try me you little bastards.

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4 Responses to “Chart Stalker”

  1. Yvette Ivy October 4, 2006 at 9:23 am #

    HA HA! Hijacked by your ovaries!!! LMAO!! That is probably the most apt description I've ever heard of what goes on with us. Mental picture: little terrorist ovaries with little ski masks on, holding automatic weapons, with explosives strapped around their middles shouting: "All you eggs, FREEZE!! There will BE no ovulating here today!! We're taking this body and there's nothing any of you can do about it!!"

  2. hydrogeek October 4, 2006 at 2:02 pm #

    That's why I quit charting. I got a good dr who told me when to do what, and we confirmed everything with sonograms, and I no longer had to think about taking my temp first thing in the morning every day, then wondering what it meant. Of course, my stress level kinda gradually increased until sonogram day when things could be confirmed, but at least I got through some days without feeling crazy. The key to all the preceeding rambling is "good doctor", in case you were wondering! 🙂 (Also, I totally enjoyed the hijacked image!)

  3. Shasta October 5, 2006 at 8:13 pm #

    I stalk my own chart as well, and I haven't put any temps in there for two months! Crazy huh?

  4. Susan October 10, 2006 at 6:27 am #

    I feel for you – I totally did that, even when I was doing heavy-duty fertility treatments. Completely counter-productive, though, since the injections threw off the numbers in my case. It just ended up causing me so much stress, morning to night. I would start thinking about it as soon as I woke up, obsess all day until injection time at night, and then go to bed right after taking my two Metformin pills (took for PCOS, so my hormones would stabilize and I'd be more receptive to the injections). Now I've moved on to obsessing if I actually am really still pregnant. Don't think it ends until that baby is in your arms, and then it'll be a whole new set of obsessions!! Ack!
    Hang in there – writing about it does help!

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