Pursuit of completion

8 Nov

* Warning, I’m going to speak about race and discrimination in this post, if you don’t like it, don’t read it!


Ready, set……….GO!  The gun went off at 1:15 this afternoon; the race is long, but an important one.  We're still very close to the start line, hell really just a few steps from it, but we're closer to breaking the tape than we were at 1:14 this afternoon.  The race is the ABC Adoption Marathon, our first entry in this type of event.  We’re just warming up really, Tani at the adoption agency was our starter and at the end of the chase will be a beautiful African-American or bi-racial baby.  We top our first hill when we join fellow adopters in Fort Worth for an orientation, then on to the three ring binder of an application.  There will be, so I’ve heard, hills of paperwork and many ups and downs following said application.  But when we cross that finish line we will get the best reward, better than a medal.


The race judge, Tani, called us today to tell us that we’ve qualified for the ABC Marathon.  I told the judge that I didn’t care what color baby we were chosen to have.  A child is a child, why should we discriminate against them just because they aren’t Caucasian?  It is not my place as a parent, hopeful adoptive parent and human being to say “oh, sorry I wanted a white baby.”  I guess some people do that, which is why Tani said they need more adoptive parents to join the ABC program, but I cannot imagine doing so.  What’s even worse is that because African-American and Bi-racial children are rarely adopted and “less desirable” their adoption fee is much less than the regular agency assisted adoption.  Why is that people?  Are we still stuck in the frame of mind that being black is bad?  I will admit, I’m white…yes, I’m white and I have no clue what it’s like for the black people of today, yesterday and of the past.  But is it wrong that we want to adopt a child, is it wrong that we don’t care what race the child is/will be?  And just because we will adopt a child that isn’t of our race we get a “discount”?  Seriously?!  Something is wrong here people.  My thinking is that if you want a baby badly enough, you will do anything to finally achieve that dream.  You will go through years of treatments, shots, medical procedures and disappointments.  You will go through years of loss, happiness and frustration.  Why, when you finally decide that enough is enough it’s time to adopt, would you CARE what race the baby is?  I told Tani today, I’m not window shopping for curtains to match my living room, we're looking for a child to complete our family!


We’re reaching the first hurdle in what will be many in this pursuit of completion.  Let’s hope we clear it and keep runnin’! 


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6 Responses to “Pursuit of completion”

  1. Susan November 7, 2006 at 9:05 pm #

    I think what you're doing is fantastic! Couldn't agree more. Keep posting stuff like this – i think more people should consider this option. I don't know where you live, but I know that in the southern states this is a really big problem, finding parents to take bi-racial babies. A friend of mine adopted 3 babies when she was in her 40's and they are the sweetest kids!

  2. MelPate November 8, 2006 at 7:35 am #

    Thank you for your support. It is an issue for us (we live in Texas) and I guess that's why the adoption coordinator said they need parents for ABC kids..again, thank you! 🙂

  3. karen November 8, 2006 at 11:54 am #

    What you are doing is so beautiful. I love your (very justified) indignation. I can't wait to hear what happens next.

  4. hydrogeek November 8, 2006 at 11:57 am #

    A good friend of mine adopted a bi-racial boy and has ranted this same rant to me several times…then thanked God for it, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to afford adoption! Best of luck in your race, Mel!

  5. R.E. November 13, 2006 at 8:59 am #

    Goof for you! I think what you're doing is wonderful, and commendable. All the best to you!

  6. teendoc December 27, 2006 at 11:49 pm #

    Sorry that I missed this post. We could have had a good screed together on this topic. I'll send you the info about my agency in a PM.

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