2nd opinion…why did I go?

18 Apr
I have no clue where to even begin.

I'll make this short (not really, but whatever), but basically he said that after reviewing my file (which he did while I sat there) he said that he read a case done last year with women who had abrupted badly enough to loose their babies. Of those women 10% abrupted again and lost the babies again. He said he doesn't feel comfortable telling me what my chances of having another baby die or me die, but based on that case study he said that if I did get preggers that I'd have a 10% chance that I'd abrupt at some point and baby would die. He explained that it's not just losing the baby but he said about the DIC and me getting sick again. he told me that he's only treated/seen 7 women that lived after going through DIC and I was one. So, he told me NOT to have any more, but he did say that he can't decide for us and we'll have to make the decision, but he would strongly advise against it.

Then he told me that I need to be on bp meds and so he hooked me up with a family practioner to see (no appt date set yet) to get on those and to talk to him about my migranes. He's afraid I'm having the TIAs and so he doens't know what they'd do for me.

THEN…he tells me that he thinks I have PCOS, but wants me to see an OB/gyn about it since he doesn't deal with non preggers PCOS patients. I have an appt on May 9th with the Ob/gyn to talk to him about that and possibly do an IUD or to tie my tubes.

He was an awesome doc…I really liked him and he was great with Kenna. He even said he knows what it's like to have one kid and want another but can't for some reason. he said he and his wife went through that and decided after years to just be happy with their first. He had a good head on his shoulders and even understood that wasn't wha I wanted to hear, but knew that I NEEDED to hear it. He put it really well that your heart wants it, but you have to convince your brain, sometimes hearing it 2x makes it more real. He said their infertility group is great if we want to do surogacy, but we can talk about that later again.

He told me this story of a woman he treated and had 5 stillbirths, after each he told her not to do it again, but she kept on and on. Her depression kept getting worse each time and finally she had her 6th stillborn and went home and killed herself. He said he's never forgave himself for that because he felt he could have done more to stop her from having more babies, but he said all he can do is tell us what he thinks and go with it.

If I do get preggers, he told me he'd treat me and "throw all the black magic he could at me because he'd be worried about giving someone who went through DIC an anticoagulant (heparin, lovenox)", he'd also see me every week from 19wks on and u/s every week to. But docs are afraid of abruptions and they can happen in seconds. He had a woman in the hospital for 20 wks because of previous abruptions and everything was great, then one morning all looked fine, but 1 1/2 hrs later the baby was dead due to abruption. He said there's nothing they can do to stop them, that's why docs are afraid of them.

So much for making this short huh? Basically the baby factory REALLY is closed, my BP is way high, I'm not having periods, I've gained 10 lbs in 3 months AND…I'm stroking out at the age of 28! Bascially…WHY did I go to this appt again?! LMAO! 

Any questions? This was in one place the copied here, so some of it may not make sense or you don't have the background. I'll answer anything you have questions about! 

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5 Responses to “2nd opinion…why did I go?”

  1. Tami April 18, 2007 at 2:40 pm #

    I think you were absolutely right on for getting a second opinion. This is a serious thing for you and your family to process and I think you should talk to as many medical professionals as needed to help you come to terms with whatever decision is right for your family.Speaking of that, I think I remember reading a while back that your family was considering adoption. Is that something you all are still considering or are you looking into other options now? Or if you're anything like me, everything would be on hold for a while until I catch my breath and process everything.Good luck with whatever you decide is right for your family. I hope you will continue to keep us posted as you feel comfortable talking about it.

  2. MelPate April 18, 2007 at 2:42 pm #

    We were/are considering adoption or surrogacy. But you're right, I think we need to process all this info. Thank you for the kind words.

  3. Butterfly Baby April 18, 2007 at 3:48 pm #

    I didn't understand any of it, but I am so sorry that you didn't get what you wanted. I'm an only child myself and can tell you from experience, I LOVED IT!!! I never had to share, got all the gifts and attention and never had to split a room!

  4. hydrogeek April 19, 2007 at 8:16 am #

    I was thinking about you yesterday. Sorry the news was such crap. I'd been wondering about the PCOS with you, but figured that you got pregnant so easily that even if you had it, it wasn't a big issue. Treating it should help the weight gain, though, which should help the blood pressure. All they do is give you a diabetic medication (metformin or fortamet or something like that) which is likely to give you the shits, but otherwise not bad at all. As for the rest of the news…well, this is where the internet breaks down, because I really don't have a response except to hug you.

  5. Ellasbeth April 22, 2007 at 8:43 am #

    Good luck with whatever you decide.

    A friend of mine is a gestational carrier and the parents are so excited about the twins they are expecting.

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