Super Mom

10 Jul

No, not me mind you.  I sometimes wonder what superpowers I’d like to have, I only do this because my daughter loves playing “would you rather” with me.  For those not in the know, she’ll ask if I’d rather be able to fly or be invisible; would I rather eat a bug or a worm; would I rather not have electricity or water…things like that.  It makes for fun conversation and lots of giggles usually.  But for superpowers, that’s hard…I have two that I’d love to have.

I would love to be ElastiGirl (from the Incredibles).  For one, she looks smokin’ hot in her uniform-y thing…she’s got a small waist and a cute little hairdo!  But secondly she can stretch.  I so need that for the amount of clothing items I have behind my dryer.  How they always end up there pisses me off.  Just out of reach either behind or between the wall and dryer or washer and dryer…grrrrr.  I have some good clothes back there, but noooo I only dream of being able to wear them since they have made residence behind HUGE appliances.  How awesome would it be to just stretch my rubberband-like arm to get them out of there…who know what wardrobe possibilities lay back there!  I could also use it in a lazy way.  Take for instance…sitting on the couch in the living room, feeding my ever chunky son.  I don’t want to get up, I’m comfy.  So I could reach around the corner and grab myself a drink.  Couch potato perfection!

The second super power really isn’t a super power, lots of people have it, I, however, don’t.  It’s something that is needed when you have kids and I used to have it but it has gone away when I need it most.  Patience.  Patience is defined as the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties.  Hmpf…do I possess that?  Negative.  I find myself getting angry over stupid things, frustrated when I have to repeat myself (for the 100th time mind you!), and can feel my blood pressure raise over minuscule problems.  Yes, I know it’s something I need to work on but wouldn’t it be better if they could just bottle that shit up?  I’d soooo buy PatientAide, now with more caffeine.  Or Diet PatientAide, to help lose weight AND your frustrations!  Can’t you see it now?

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3 Responses to “Super Mom”

  1. Michelle July 14, 2009 at 12:14 pm #

    I’m so signing up for the diet patientaide as soon as it becomes available!

  2. hydrogeek July 14, 2009 at 4:53 pm #

    I was just telling my husband I wanted ElastiGirl’s powers. Not for the dryer thing, although that would be handy. I want her super-stretchiness so that when I’m trying to nurse Isaac to sleep in our room and Sean is blaring the TV with his war movies in the living room I could stretch my arm in there, grab the remote, turn the TV down, then smack him in the head with it. I guess I’d need eyes on my hands too, but hey, while we’re wishing, let’s go for it!

    • Yvette Ivy July 14, 2009 at 9:32 pm #

      HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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