My “Big Ass Cake” story!

8 Apr

Oooh how I know you’ve been longing to hear this!

Let’s see, where do I begin?  Way back in the day, say 1994, we (myself, my mom and my stepdad) moved to a little town in the panhandle.  We moved in with my Gramma and Grandpa.  It was actually fun living like that.  Sure being in a teeny-tiny town AND living with 4 adults was less than ideal for a teenager trying to get away with shit but it was pretty damn cool.  I got to spend time with my grandparents that I may not have before, I got to know them more than just grandparents.  It’s time that I will always treasure especially now that my grandpa is gone.  Don’t let me forget to tell you the time that I was stood up for the Prom (my boyfriend couldn’t be bothered to leave the golf course!) and so my Grandpa took me!

But back to the cake story…

During these high school years my mom and stepdad always seemed to have conferences during my birthday. It’s just how they fell and they didn’t really vary from year to year.  So I found myself without them there for a few bday celebrations.  This also means that I never got a kick ass cake from my mother.  I’ll have to post some when I can get my hands on some pics.  She’s amazing.  We tell her she should make them for a living but she always says that no one could pay her enough to do it.  She’s doing Jay’s first bday pirate ship cake…oh yeah! 

I always had to make my own cake and they weren’t pretty.  Tear open a box and bake, crack open the canned frosting and Waaaaaa-lah a cake!

Now  that you have the back story here’s where it gets really damn funny.

My sis and I LOVE LOVE LOVE CakeWrecks.  I cannot remember who told whom to “go to this site it’s frickin’ hilarious” but since that happened we both read it every day.  Hell, sis even got me the Cake Wrecks book.  If you’ve never been to the site you have to visit.  It’s just funny and the writing makes it bite…oh it makes me cry with laughter most days.

Early last month there was an awesome (as usual) post on Cake Wrecks.  Sis and I had to talk on the phone about it and I said in passing “OMG, I so want that Big Ass cake for my birthday”.  See…I say big ass whatever all the time.  Example, “that’s a big ass cookie”, “I want a big ass coke” and “oh look, a big ass douche bag”.  You get the idea.

After we hung up a few weeks went by and I didn’t even think much about it anymore.  We went to visit my mom for St. Pat’s Day and Spring Break but something made me think of Cake Wrecks and I brought up the site and had to show mom the funniest “big ass cake” ever!

Little did I know that weekend I would be getting my own big ass cake!

We were standing around in Gramma’s kitchen, the same kitchen I used to make my pitiful birthday cakes 13-ish years ago.  We had just finished a lunch and we all gather in the kitchen at my gramma’s for some reason.  All just chatting and laughing and bullshitting, good times.  I was taking a drink or stuffing my face or something and I hear “I want some cake” from someone.  I look over and see this:


You can’t see the cake too well but no one thought about taking a pic of it by itself.  Yes…it says “Big Ass Cake” on it and mom even “wrecked” it by making the writing look fugly.

I couldn’t believe that my sis would tell mom something I said in passing, although that’s how my family is, I should have known!  Mom was swamped with cakes when she made this one; a HUGE 1st bday cake for my twin niece and nephew, this cake, then when Kenna and I get there we ask her to do a small cake for Kenna’s birthday too.  But she did it all, with a smile on her face.

It’s amazing how much that made my day/birthday.  I don’t get birthday hoopla anymore, hell, I’m over 30.  But Kenna’s bday is 10 days before mine and now Jay’s is the next month.  I’d much rather celebrate their’s than mine and the fact that Michelle and Mom went out of their way to make MY day special too…well, that just makes me teary-eyed…those bitches!


4 Responses to “My “Big Ass Cake” story!”

  1. Caroline April 8, 2010 at 7:28 pm #

    HAHAHAHAHA I love it! I have been waiting for this story for a while 🙂 I love CakeWrecks too!

    • fourpates April 8, 2010 at 7:38 pm #

      I’m glad it met your expectations! LOL 🙂

  2. Michelle May 5, 2010 at 11:26 am #

    BTW, you introduced me to cake wrecks and pioneer woman! My life has never been the same (in a good way!)

    • fourpates May 7, 2010 at 6:06 am #

      Well, that’s what I’m here for sis! 🙂 And now hopefully I have you hooked on “The Middle”! LOL

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