Tag Archives: goals

Smaller goals

6 Aug

I hesitate putting “smaller” goals or even thinking of them that way but I hate the term “short-term” goals. I’m not sure why, that’s exactly what they are. Oh well…semantics.

I had a goal of 195lbs by the end of July (for a wedding)…well I hit that and went a little under. YIPPPEEEEE! So I started thinking of my next goal, my next milestone that I could reach in time for something that means a lot to me. I’ve decided that by late October I want to be 175lbs. I’ll have to bust my ass to get there but it’s totally possible. I want to be smaller for my scrapbook retreat I go to with my sister. I want to get a full body massage while I’m there and not feel self-conscious about me being a whale on the table. I want people to notice that I’ve lost weight (and not just family members) and I want to buy a Large t-shirt instead of XXL. It’s the little things, people.

It’s amazing to me that if I hit that goal (175lbs) I’ll have lost almost 50lbs in this journey and only be 35lbs to my ultimate goal. When I first started sparkpeople.com that year of weight loss looked so daunting. But as I’m hacking away at my fat it doesn’t seem too far out there anymore. I wish I could work out more again, I wish I had the motivation back I had at the beginning but I’m still doing it. I wish I didn’t need a cheatday on Saturdays but I know myself well enough that if I don’t allow a cheat I’ll be more likely to binge on the crap during the week, thus derailing everything because then I’d go down the “shame spiral” and think that I’ve already screwed it up to just keep doing it and start fresh later, but that later would never come. How ’bout THAT for a run-on sentence?! But it also conveys what that spiral is like for me…it’s never ending and it just gets out of control. Allowing one day to have pancakes, or cookies or ice cream then I get rid of that craving and move on.

I know even at 175lbs I’ll still be fat. Even now I’ve lost 30lbs but people still see me as fat. And I’m ok with that, it’s motivation. I am fat. But I’m embracing the skinny inside and soon it’ll show.

Losing weight is mostly mental. Sure there’s the diet, exercise and eating healthy but you have to be in it mentally and trick yourself sometimes as well. I eat off a small plate, I use a small fork. I imagine the size of protein as a deck of cards. The looks of my plate has changed. Before diet it was 60% protein, 30% carbs and 10% veggies, with huge portion of sugar and snacks on the side. Now it’s totally changed. My biggest portion is veggies, then protein and finally carbs. My snacks are fruits and at night I’ll have a low-cal treat. It works for me and I know this is how I’ll eat for the rest of my life. If I don’t then I’ll balloon up again and I don’t want that. I also eat breakfast now, I used to not. I’ve noticed a huge difference in doing so too. I’m not hungry and snacking before lunch. I don’t binge at lunch either.

Geeze, this post has rambled and taken its own direction, huh?

So, on to the next “smaller goal”…as I get smaller.

Gets me every time!

14 Apr

Sean and I met on a blind date in January 1999.  Just four months later we were engaged.

I didn’t think it was possible when we got married to love him more than I did then.  I was wrong.  Seeing him with our kids, seeing what a wonderful man/husband/father he’s become and watching him reach his goals makes me so proud to be his wife.  He turns me on when he wears his slacks, shirt and tie for work but then I think he’s hot when he’s wearing his softball practice ratty shorts and t-shirt.  I love his ass and how any time it’s near me I have to slap it.  I love his sense of humor, that’s what attracted me to him first.  He’s a quiet guy at first but once he opens up the laughter rarely ends.  I love his Forest Gump, his Sling Blade and any other voice he can do.  The looks he gives me sometimes are priceless and most make my knees weak.  We won’t even talk about his calves or how he hates it when I tweak his nipples (LOL)…swoooon!

But what really gets me…the one thing that every time I see it makes my ovaries spazz…the one image that makes me tear up every single time:

 

Seeeeee!  It’s that look; that crooked half-smile, the twinkle in his eye, the tuft of chest hair that Jay now pulls and the fact that he’s holding his newborn son. UGH…gets me every FRICKIN’ time, this picture!