My “Big Ass Cake” story!

Oooh how I know you’ve been longing to hear this!

Let’s see, where do I begin?  Way back in the day, say 1994, we (myself, my mom and my stepdad) moved to a little town in the panhandle.  We moved in with my Gramma and Grandpa.  It was actually fun living like that.  Sure being in a teeny-tiny town AND living with 4 adults was less than ideal for a teenager trying to get away with shit but it was pretty damn cool.  I got to spend time with my grandparents that I may not have before, I got to know them more than just grandparents.  It’s time that I will always treasure especially now that my grandpa is gone.  Don’t let me forget to tell you the time that I was stood up for the Prom (my boyfriend couldn’t be bothered to leave the golf course!) and so my Grandpa took me!

But back to the cake story…

During these high school years my mom and stepdad always seemed to have conferences during my birthday. It’s just how they fell and they didn’t really vary from year to year.  So I found myself without them there for a few bday celebrations.  This also means that I never got a kick ass cake from my mother.  I’ll have to post some when I can get my hands on some pics.  She’s amazing.  We tell her she should make them for a living but she always says that no one could pay her enough to do it.  She’s doing Jay’s first bday pirate ship cake…oh yeah! 

I always had to make my own cake and they weren’t pretty.  Tear open a box and bake, crack open the canned frosting and Waaaaaa-lah a cake!

Now  that you have the back story here’s where it gets really damn funny.

My sis and I LOVE LOVE LOVE CakeWrecks.  I cannot remember who told whom to “go to this site it’s frickin’ hilarious” but since that happened we both read it every day.  Hell, sis even got me the Cake Wrecks book.  If you’ve never been to the site you have to visit.  It’s just funny and the writing makes it bite…oh it makes me cry with laughter most days.

Early last month there was an awesome (as usual) post on Cake Wrecks.  Sis and I had to talk on the phone about it and I said in passing “OMG, I so want that Big Ass cake for my birthday”.  See…I say big ass whatever all the time.  Example, “that’s a big ass cookie”, “I want a big ass coke” and “oh look, a big ass douche bag”.  You get the idea.

After we hung up a few weeks went by and I didn’t even think much about it anymore.  We went to visit my mom for St. Pat’s Day and Spring Break but something made me think of Cake Wrecks and I brought up the site and had to show mom the funniest “big ass cake” ever!

Little did I know that weekend I would be getting my own big ass cake!

We were standing around in Gramma’s kitchen, the same kitchen I used to make my pitiful birthday cakes 13-ish years ago.  We had just finished a lunch and we all gather in the kitchen at my gramma’s for some reason.  All just chatting and laughing and bullshitting, good times.  I was taking a drink or stuffing my face or something and I hear “I want some cake” from someone.  I look over and see this:

 

You can’t see the cake too well but no one thought about taking a pic of it by itself.  Yes…it says “Big Ass Cake” on it and mom even “wrecked” it by making the writing look fugly.

I couldn’t believe that my sis would tell mom something I said in passing, although that’s how my family is, I should have known!  Mom was swamped with cakes when she made this one; a HUGE 1st bday cake for my twin niece and nephew, this cake, then when Kenna and I get there we ask her to do a small cake for Kenna’s birthday too.  But she did it all, with a smile on her face.

It’s amazing how much that made my day/birthday.  I don’t get birthday hoopla anymore, hell, I’m over 30.  But Kenna’s bday is 10 days before mine and now Jay’s is the next month.  I’d much rather celebrate their’s than mine and the fact that Michelle and Mom went out of their way to make MY day special too…well, that just makes me teary-eyed…those bitches!

That dirt eater…yeah, it’s MY son!

(First off…woo hoo, it’s not a diet post!)

Jaylon is a dirt eater.  Which, as bad as it sounds, is not as bad as a death eater (Harry Potter reference!).  But it is pretty nasty.  I don’t care how many times I vacuum, how many times I sweep or how many times I hand-pick stuff up off the floor he will eat it.  More often than not, thanks to big sis playing softball, it’s dirt from her cleats. 

He’ll crawl really fast to a clump and stuff it in his chubby little cheeks before I even notice it or get to him.  If I don’t notice I hear coughing and gagging in a few seconds.  It’s actually quite funny, if it weren’t so NASTY!

Today I ran to Walgreens, which btw is the devil and I could spend more money there than Target sometimes, to get Jay some food for in the morning.  I left him home with Daddy and Sissy.  As soon as I get home they have to run to softball practice so it’s a little hectic for a few seconds.  In this short period of time Jay got himself a HUNK of dirt.  We hear coughing and gagging then a little bleck sound.  So Sean and I instantly know what he got into.  I should have taken a pic before we wiped his mouth because DAMN that was some funny shit!  He had dirt all around his mouth, like he had eaten the best ice-cream on the face of the earth.  We wiped his mouth, I swept the inside of his mouth and noticed that he had some stuck in his little teeth!  Man oh man!

I brushed his teeth after that.

Also, he plays with his wee-hee too.  I know he’s a boy and “hey look, it’s a cool thingy to play with” but I didn’t think he’d start now!  He loves bathtime because it’s out there for him to fondle.  The funny thing is he usually giggles while he’s doing it. 

His future wife is going to love all these stories.  Hopefully by then all the dirt will be out of his teeth!

Hell yeah…2lbs!

Don’t you hate when you have so many things running through your head to write a blog about then when you open your blog you can’t remember a damn one?!

Yeah, that’s me!

I know I wanted to write a post about my daughter turning 8 but I feel like I need to give it more time and thought.  I also have something in me about this past weekend.  I’m also sure there’s some words floating around about someone turning 31 this week (and that person just may be me!).  I’m certain that there’s a scrapbooking post in there too!

So, let’s talk about my diet then, ok?  I cheated, a lot, this weekend.  Not even gonna lie…I had cake, candy, cake, funnel cake, cake, wine and I capped that all off with some cake.  I did try to cut back on portions and I did drink my water, so that’s the plus.  But you see, we celebrated Kenna’s birthday (and someone else’s too) and so I had to have some of her cake.  Ma made it, so it was deeeee-lish and chocolate and I couldn’t say no!  I also didn’t work out at all during the entire week.

But…

I…

lost…

2 lbs!

I know it’s not much when you look at the fact that I have 68 more left…but it’s a start.  And I’m pretty proud of my 2lbs dammit because I know it would have been more had I stuck to the diet better and exercised but it showed me that even just cutting out most of my sweets, snacking between meals, drinking <1 diet dp a day and greatly reducing portion size really does work for me!  There is hope!

Oh and don’t let me forget to tell you about my Big Ass Cake!

Spring break and St. Pats!

This one will be a quickie folks!  I am blogging while the J-man is snoozing!

Anyway, this is spring break for Kenna so we came to visit my Mammy in the panhandle.  We’ve been enjoying each other’s company and just having fun.  Sean is still at home but will fly up tomorrow to spend the rest of the week with us.  I miss him!

I love seeing my kids with their NaNa.  And I always wish I had the patience she does with them.  Kenna’s been playing with Zoe so much that I’m not sure who’s having more fun, her or the dog?!  Jaylon has been army crawling everywhere and is finally starting to crawl for real.  He only takes a few “steps” then falls and stars army crawling like he usually does but hey, it’s a start.

I enjoy spending so much time with Ma.  She and I, like I’ve said before, are more like friends than mother/daughter.  We have so much fun together.  That’s been the hard part about being so far away, is not being able to just run to Mom’s house.  Oh well.

Kenna’s 8th b-day was this Sunday and we spent it in the car!  Poor girl.  We did go out to dinner Saturday and I’ll have a whole post about that and her turning 8 soon.

St. Patrick’s Day is a huge day for us.  See, I’m from Shamrock, TX.  So you can understand why it’s a big deal, right?  We go to the celebration every year (except for last since I was HUGE preggo with Jay) and the family all comes and invades my Gramma’s house, who still lives in Shamrock.  There’s a parade, carnival and yummy goodies.  It’s so much fun and I cannot wait for it to begin this weekend.  Unfortunately it’s supposed to be in the 30s and snow! Grrr!

My diet is still going well.  I’m drinking my water and cutting back on portions.  I’m trying to stay away from the sweets but it is difficult here at my mom’s house.  She bakes all the damn time!  But I’ve been ok…I have had a few bites of cake of some goodies but much better than I normally do!

So, more blogging to come after this weeks festivities!  Happy St. Pat’s to you all! 🙂

Wow, where do I begin?

I mean, I’ve been MIA and I have no idea where to even begin on the update!  So, let’s see…

~ My ma and Chris came down for the weekend.  Chris had a bunch of meetings so we didn’t get to see him too much, unfortunately.  But we did get to spend Saturday with my ma.  We always have fun together, I don’t think it matters what we do or where we go.  We did get to baby sit their puppy, Zoe.  Chris and I went in together and got ZoeZoe for Ma for Christmas.  Boy is she a handful.  She’s spoiled and beyond cute.  Luckily she slept really well for us, better than Jay actually.  Kenna already misses her but honestly watching her is harder than watching a kid!

~ Kenna’s birthday is coming up.  It’s strange because we always have a party for her.  Hell, last year we took most of the family (the ones that could be here) to Sea World for the day.  This year her party will have to wait.  Because of spring break, St. Patrick’s weekend and a friend’s birthday she decided to have her sleepover in April.  Such a big girl to understand that things come up and come up with a compromise.

~ St. Patrick’s weekend.  I’m from a teeny-tiny town in the panhandle.  This town celebrates St. Pats…with a parade, carnival and all kinds of fun stuff.  Every year we go there and enjoy all that St. Pat’s has to offer.  Tons of my family comes and it’s like a mini family reunion.  We didn’t go last year because I was, oh, 32 weeks pregnant and no one wanted me to travel 8 hrs.  So, I’m ready to par-tay next weekend!

~ Jay rode in a big boy swing for the first time last night.  We were at Kenna’s softball practice and he started getting fussy.  So I took him over to the park and stuck him in the swing.  He giggled and smiled and giggled some more.  When he’d stop swinging he’d kick his legs and get fussy and it was hard getting him out!

~ I’ve been applying to every company I can think of in San Antonio.  Some positions I’m totally qualified for, some not completely.  I seriously have applied to 8 companies that I can think of, I know it’s more than that though!  I have two reasons why I’m not getting a call back (other than the economy and unemployment so everyone’s looking for a job)…1)I have no college degree. I’ve got over 100 hrs toward my BS but I don’t have the money to go back. 2)My work comp claim. I never thought of that until my dad said that some companies bay attention to that. UGH!

~ I have a large post about my weight in my head. I would add it to this but I think it deserves a post of its own.

Anywho, there you have some of the update.  I dunno if you’ll get the weight post tomorrow since it’s softball practice AND Grey’s and Private Practice night!  Thursday’s are a big night for me! LOL

Recap, Wednesday through Sunday edition

Man oh man did I have a fun time.  It was one of those weeks you wish wouldn’t end.  Not that we did anything special, not that we just were on the go all the time, not that we went balls-out to do everything.  Actually, the opposite happened.

We sat and talked, we ate,  we sat and played with Jay, we ate, we sat and laughed, we ate, we tried to nap and then we ate some more.  We did go to the movies on Saturday and we did go out to eat a few times.  We watched the olympics, we drank some beer.   We played the Wii and laughed so hard one of us almost pee’d her pants (and that person would not be me…nope, not me at all!).

Saying goodbye always sucks.  I made sure I used my waterproof mascara today.  I’ll see my sis again in a few weeks but I won’t see Dad until May.  Kenna loved having company, she was so lovey and sweet.  She talked Sis’ ears off and I think totally enjoyed having her Aunt Shell to herself (without her cousins! LOL).  Jaylon loved his Grandpa and smiled and giggled more at him than he has me the past few weeks.

Thank God for family!

Sister Sue and Daddio!

I’m so totally stoked.  I mean excited doesn’t even cover it.  My Sister and Dad are coming for a visit.  They live 8 hours away and we don’t get to see each other too often.  They had plane tickets from last April when Jay was born.  Since Jay decided to come even before his c-section date, they just drove up and canceled the flight leaving thier tickets.  They had to use them before April

Finally deciding on a date that would work best for everyone they booked the flight and will be here tomorrow!  My sister and I are totally crazy and have so much fun together.  We laugh and say that we could have fun in a padded room!  My dad is someone I’m finally getting to know a little better.  Parents divorcing when I was young then moving to Texas when I was in high school didn’t really foster a close relationship for us.  But we’re working on it and it’s come a long way.  Any time I can spend with him is time that I cherish and learn from and I cannot wait to have him here!

So, I probably won’t post, unless something insane happens which I guess is possible! LOL

Oh, and my sister’s name isn’t Sue!  LMAO!

I have a 9 year old angel

February 22, 2001.  It’s amazing how a day that was 9 years ago still brings tears to my eyes.  I remember it and the days leading up to it like it just happened.

Earlier that month I had gone to Florida to take the dance team I was coach of to Nationals.  I was 24-ish weeks pregnant.  We we came back I had a slight head cold and just felt blah.  Finally I just didn’t feel “right” and called my doc.  I was told to come in to make sure all was ok.  By this time I was 25wks and 6 days pregnant.  They did the doppler and found no heartbeat, and ultrasound was done and showed no flicker of a heart.  Luckily Sean was there with me because I was devastated.  We were told to have another ultrasound tomorrow to make sure our first baby girl had indeed died.

I remember calling my mom and telling her that her first granddaughter was gone.  They immediately got in the car and came to be with us.  I called my co-worker who came over to help me clean the house a smidge and to be there with us until my mom got there.

The next morning we had the ultrasound and the tech said the worst words any mother could ever hear, “I’m sorry”.  The doc told us we had a couple options; wait until my body realized that something wasn’t right and I went into labor on my own or to be induced.  We chose induction the next day since I wanted the experience over.

We went to the hospital in the morning.  Wednesday the 21st we started the induction.  Finally by that night nothing much was happening so we stopped the meds so I could eat and rest that night.  The next day we started up again and it went faster.  Delivering a 26wk baby, I didn’t need to be dilated to 10 and by the afternoon something had changed and the baby was coming out!  I was being wheeled into the delivery room and I couldn’t stop her from coming.  I remember asking for a hand to hold, I needed someone to hold my hands.  In that instant both hands were being held by my mom on one side and my sis on the other.  I needed them and they were there.  Sean couldn’t be in the delivery room since he didn’t want to see the baby (and he’s still never seen her).  Right then out Avery slid, amniotic sac still intact and all.  She weighed 1lb and was 12 inches long.

It was after the delivery is what I don’t really recall.  We planned her little funeral, held her and said our goodbyes.  The next day I was released and we went home to get ready for her funeral which was that day.

I remember her funeral but that’s about all for that day.  We got our dog Hopie then too.  Sean thought she would help me work through my grief and she did, that’s for sure.  I went back to work in about a week but was in a fog for quite a while.

I don’t remember when the fog lifted enough for me to function.  I don’t remember when I smiled again.  I don’t remember when I laughed again.  But it happened.  Then McKenna happened; we got pregnant with her around the 4th of July that same year.

My life, our lives, will never be the same.  Losing our daughter was horrible and I wouldn’t wish that pain on even my worst enemy, but Avery made me who I am today and taught me that life is precious and fragile.  I’d never go through another pregnancy the same either.   Her body is buried in Amarillo, her brother is next to her, but her spirit is watching over us every day.

MaMaMaMaMaMa

Oh and DaDaDaDa too!  But he says MaMa more often, usually when he’s fussy.  But I’ll take it!

I was in the car today, either going to or coming from Target, hell I can’t remember…Target always wears me out!  Anyway, in the back seat I heard the cutest little babble ever.  Sure I hear “Momma” all the time from Kenna but it’s usually preceded or followed by “ugh” or “awwww” and possibly stomping out of the room and slamming of the door.  So hearing it so pure, so raw from my baby boy just melted my heart.  You forget how amazing those first words sound.  I’m now reminded how fast those words will come now and how quickly he’s growing up.

His first birthday is right around the corner.  Luckily I have a little more time and another birthday to plan.  Kenna will be 8 next month and we’re doing an easy party.  For us, easy parties usually don’t happen!  I go WAY over the top on them since for the first few they are actually for the parents and guests anyway, right?! LOL  This year Kenna wanted a party with friends at the house.  We decided on a few friends over to play the Wii, have pizza and cake.  After that only a couple girls will spend the night, her first ever friend sleep-over.  Should be interesting!  Then it’s Jay’s 1st in April!  Ooooh, I cannot wait.  It’s a pirate theme and you do NOT want to know what the invites will be, plus it’s a smidge of a secret for the ones getting it.  Let’s just say that yeahhh, Melanie’s going overboard yet again (pun intended folks!).  Here is his cake, Ma will make it since she is awesome like that!

See, ain’t it CUTE!  And it’s not all scary pirate, it’s cute cuddly pirate.  So, there you have it!  He said his first words (MaMa and DaDa) and we have two birthdays coming up (well, 3 if you count mine that’s between the two kids’!)

Arrrrrrgh to you all!

Bulleted mish-mash of crap

Well, if THAT aint a title then I don’t know what is!  See, here’s the deal…I’ve been writing more and (surprise, surprise!) my stats went up.  That’s awesome with one down side, I feel like I need to blog more often now! LOL  Since Jay’s been sick and now me too you all will get a bulleted post, since I’m awesome like that!

• Jay is doing better!  His croupy cough went away Tuesday night and he’s starting to act like his normal happy self.
• He is trying to crawl but still would prefer to be the “blob”, a cute blob at that!
• Yes, I know it’s bad to call my son a “blob” but seriously that’s what he is!
• It’s hard work luggin’ that tummy off the ground to actually crawl, people!
• Jay gave me his cooties. No, I didn’t get croup but I did get a nasty cold or something from it.
• I’ve been coughing, my throat hurts and my ears switch between itching and hurting too.
• I’m also exhausted.
• My dear sweet hubby came home early yesterday and brought me lozenges and ice cream.  Damn I love that man!
• Kenna’s doing good in school still.  Math is really getting her down and I’m trying to explain and show her that she is good at math and knows what she’s doing she just has to TRUST herself.
• That’s impossible for a 7 almost 8-year-old to grasp, BTW!
• I’m stuck on writing my book, it’s barely started and I’m already stuck. Yeah, it will never get finished.
• And if it does get finished it won’t be published, I’m sure of it.
• It’s almost 8pm and I’m fixing to go to bed.  I went to the grocery store today because even the DOG had no food and it totally wore my ass out!
• I have a meeting with the ombudsman with the injured employee council (or some shit like that) to kick off my dispute of the Dumbass Doc’s judgement.  Woo hoo!

So, there you have it.  Hands down the most boring and stupid blog post in the history of blog posts! 🙂